Two Lists

GOOD THINGS:

1. We did come home last night, released at 10:00 p.m. I woke Jacob up at 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. to pee.

2. Jacob had no nausea or vomiting at all this time.



BAD THINGS:

1. Jacob has lost almost 3 pounds in the last week.

2. He's developed mucositis (I think that's it) inside his mouth from the radiation. It's kind of like a sunburn inside the mouth, the skin is burning and then peeling away. There are two problems with this--pain and infection. We've got to keep his mouth as clean as possible right at the time when it's the most painful.

3. We're doing IV fluids for the next five days. I'm using "we" advisedly--I don't have to receive the fluids, but I do have to administer them. Our homecare nurse is coming by tonight to teach me how. Put that on my list of things I wish I never had to learn--right up next to "give shots".

I'm trying to stay positive. After all, Jacob could be in much worse condition. I'm thankful for how well he's tolerating the treatments. His radiation oncologist called him "the iron man" today. And it's true--I'd be weeping and whining all the time by now, but Jake just gets on with it and only occasionally admits to being "a little uncomfortable".

I guess I'm just feeling the weight of lots more days of radiation and lots more weeks of chemo. I'm great in a short-term crisis, but it takes a whole other kind of strength to be in it for the long haul. I guess I'm stretching those muscles now.